September 11 Digital Archive






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TomPaine Story: Story

The Top Ten Ironies 9-11-01

The difficulties in narrowing down the ten most ironic things over the past year

were enormous. Almost everything that happened was ironic. Unfortunately, many

grand ironies failed to make the list; the similarities in the rhetoric among

various different religious fundamentalists (e.g; Falwell and bin Laden), our good

relations with some countries which are known to harbor terrorists (Pakistan,

England, France, etc.), or a Jewish man screaming over and over; ""NO MORE ARABS,

NO MORE TERRORISTS!"" after a suicide bombing - to name but a few.

Admittedly, this list is imperfect. I apologize, in advance, if your favorite irony

did not make the list.

10- Bush's new immigration policy places increased restrictions and requirements

on people from several nations entering the U.S. but excludes Saudis, who made

up the largest group of terrorists on 9-11.

Don't mind him; he's one of us.

9- The Bush administration's reluctance to review ""what went wrong"" on 9-11

in favor of pursuing policies of previous Republican agendas - which would not have

prevented the attacks in the first place - as a method of solving the problem.

The light is better over here.

8- The Justice Department decides to cloak the statues of The Spirit of Justice and

The Majesty of Justice behind a curtain as they dispense justice from behind

closed doors.

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!

7- Bush says that the terrorists hate us for our liberties and freedoms so - to protect us

from the results of their hatred - the government restricts our liberties and freedoms.

Anything you can do, I can do better.

6- The name of the Bill passed doing the most damage to our liberties and freedoms

is called the ""Patriot"" Act.

War is Peace, Freedom is Slavery, Ignorance is Strength...

5- Osama bin Laden intends to start a holy war and Bush decides the best thing to do

is play into his hands (Crusade against Evil-doers - Operation: Infinite Justice - Axis of Evil -

War with Iraq...).

Wait, let me get that for you!

4- Most religions have a Golden Rule equivalent, but almost no one lives by it...[including

many Christians, who seem to think WWJD? means dropping bombs on your enemies

and anyone else (innocent or not) who gets in the way (#4 in irony, #1 in hypocrisy)].

Do unto others before they do unto you.

3- That many of those that got us into this economic and political mess are the ones

running the government and offering the solutions.

The fox is guarding the hen house.

2- Bush declares a war on terrorism.

When I say a word it means just what I want it to mean... nothing more, nothing less.

1- The suggestion that irony was dead.


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